Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Letter from a single male man

Lenny,

Its nice to see you're doing well. I saw you at the gas station filling up your mom's 86 pinto.

The girl... she looked nice.

... how'd she get in? Did she need help getting out? Or did you just grease the door frame and push from the other side?

Its nice to have a girlfriend.

On a much lighter note I'm doing well too,
although I still don't have a girlfreind.

Being single is fun because you can do whatever you want anytime you want.

Like if I want to watch a movie and she thinks it's dumb, it doesn't matter because she can't disagree cuz she's not there.

or like if I go to dinner, I get seated before families and couples because I take up less room...

And I don't have to gaurd my plate while I swallow.

Yeah.
Then I get do do whatever I want after dinner too.
Like if I feel like going for a walk, I don't have to listen to her complain about how her knees hurt and her back is all soar and stuff.

I don't have to pretend I like her dumb family or that psychotic cat. I hate that cat.

Yeah. So stuff's good. I like to eat a lot of tv dinners sometimes and pretend its Thanksgiving except I don't have to clean the house or find extra chairs for all the extra people since they aren't there or anything.

Its nice not being tied down.

nice because its quiet...

nice and quiet.


sometimes I talk to the tv.

Yeah. So maybe we could all get together sometime when you and your girlfriend are bored or something. You could come over and watch television or play some cards or something.

'k bye.

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