I went to Winco yesterday. It’s big.
As I was down on one knee selecting the cheapest sour cream I could find, a couple came up and opened the fridge door a few down from mine. They appeared married a few years. He was in gym shorts(what all people that don’t need to try anymore resort to around here) She was dressed nice. Looked slightly pregnant. He was pushing the cart. She was on the front of it pulling from point to point, doing the opening of doors, comparing, and selecting- So he wasn’t so much pushing as resting his arms on the cart and doddering along like the hind legs on an amputee dog with the little wheels on the front.
She asked what kind of cottage cheese he liked. His head lolled around disinterestedly followed by an impassive, “I dunno.”
Ducking behind the door she scanned prices. After an efficient pause, she reached for one. His eyes rolled at the monotony of grocery shopping and, for a sliver of a moment, what she was pulling out of the cooler came into focus long enough to resolve some colors, lettering, maybe the trademark.
He sighed. “Not Darigold.”
Obediently she returned it to its shelf.
I felt uncomfortably awkward.
It seems like if you’ve been married long enough to be pregnant, you might know about such a strange eccentricity as his being picky about his cottage cheese make. What could this man have against a brand of cottage cheese? The audacity of being picky when so obviously uninvolved seemed stranger still.
It seemed like a situation that could lead to many happy years of Darigold cottage cheese sneaking it’s way unexpectedly into everything you ever eat or drink. I didn’t get the feeling this man prepared his own meals.
I resolved as I strolled past the acre or so of prostrate freezers full of cod and frozen peas, that if I ever get married, my intended will know what kind of cottage cheese I prefer so that we don’t face the same awkward impasse.
I like white cottage cheese.
White with lumpy chunks of cheese brain stuff floating around in it. All brands I’ve tried adhere to this standard equally! I’m confident the local grocer will provide acceptable makes.
Also, if your wife wears clothes when she goes out, maybe you should too- at least when you’re with her. But maybe she pulled him away from an important basketball game or athletic endeavor. What do I know?