This is not a dating blog

but trying to date ends up being the main source of comedy in my life. Drama is said to be a person wanting something badly and having a hard time getting it. Comedy is supposed to be that, but with more pain. Horror is the same thing, but with more running and knives.

Danced with someone new. Started talking with her just to be nice. Probably wasn’t going to ask for her number or anything. Just dancing to dance. I talk about when I first started coming and how it took me months to get the hang of it. 

“how old are you?” She asks. 

 Great question. Thank you for that. 

     I hear myself say, “32.” like announcing the Sesame Street number of the day.

     a pause as we continue dancing. 

     I feel like I ought to say something. “Is that awkward?”

     “No.” she blinks.            

     “How old are you?” I smile.

     “18.” She spins past.

     While spinning back she asks, “Is that awkward for you?”

     “No.” I exclaim. 

     But you can’t just say that. I'm not going to let a little age difference make things weird.  I think of something to say:
 

     “You’ve got to start dancing some time. 18s a good age. I didn’t start till I was 23.” 

     Way to patch that up old man. Yeah. Make yourself really relatable by referring to a long time ago when you were 5 years older than she is now. Nice. Way to brainiac the math outta  that one. She probably easily calculated that she was 13 when you started danc- Actually you put that through a calculator and find out she was not 13 when you were 23.
She was 9.
You don’t subtract 5 years from 18 imbecile, you subtract 23 from 32. That’s 9 years. Way to relate to the young people of today. Way to freaking go…

Here is a real life representation of how I came across:    
 "half your life ago I was starting to dance just like you are now starting to dance I eat TV crackers tunafish dum dumdum!"

Awesome.