Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Online Dating: How to craft that first hello!

I have really horrendously bad BO and so the online dating scene is the only way I can lock somebody into an hour or two long date sitting in my car at the Sonic eating jalapeño cheese fries. If that goes well I usually flip on the late night AM talk show about secret government conspiracies, ghosts, and aliens. I haven't gotten any girls to want to yet, but if you play your cards right I'll even take you back to my place to watch a few hours of VHS tape I've got recorded of tv static with messages from another dimension. I spend a lot of time watching static for messages and I record them on VHS tape. That's why I have hours of VHS tape. Its like a journey through a snowy tunnel into another world. the voices are amazing. 
Also I hope you aren't allergic to cats because right now I'm not sure how many there are because its spring and they're breeding again. I just leave a window open for them to go in and out through. My mom thinks I should get new carpet because of all the urine stains but hey! Everything pees. except trees. But they're outside anyway so who would be able to tell?!
I hope you don't think I'm a hoarder because I'm not. My mom tries to convince me I am by sending me tv shows on dvd of people who "supposedly" hoard. Its such a hoax. They go in and try to say that because somebody stacked something up next to a door, its hoarding. But the people in those shows are totally normal! They don't even have a lot of stuff! Its pretty dumb to claim someone has a hoarding problem just because they don't use their front door anymore. That's where they store things! . Duh!
If I had more room, I'd use my back room for an exercise room. I've been thinking about getting a situp unit off the TV to get into shape. I called yesterday but they wanted a credit card number to charge it to and mine is already overdrawn. I thought they would just sign me up for payments later on but they wanted the $39.99 right now. So stupid. Who keeps that kind of money around?! Do you have any idea how much you could get at 7Eleven on that?! 
 I better go. one of my cats is making a lot of noise. I hope they aren't eating it. I came home from Kmart the other day and two of my cats had been eaten alive by the other ones. Its just how cats are sometimes. I guess they need more food. I usually borrow it from my neighbors but they're in town this week. 
K. Look forward to meeting you! Bye!
My mom's boyfriend Creddick, me, and my mom. mom usually smiles less but she was drunk when the police took these pictures. 

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