If you need to impress the woman you've met online, here's another wonderful example of how to address to impress:
I seem to feel through the force that you are a woman of class and distinction who certainly can enjoy a good burrito. I happen to know how to make you a burrito because I used to work at Taco Bell before I got fired, and my neighbor is a mexican. If you like them hot, I don't know how to do that because I don't have that kind of mayonnaise. I hope you don't mind a man with cats because I have- well, its summer so they're breeding again. Not sure how many but there's a lot. Women who love animals love me. Especially if they love some good anime because my collections are bursting. Shoot, if I had a TV it would be amazing. We could watch them on it. I hope you like being treated right because that's the only way I know how to do things and I like to do back massages so don't worry your pretty head about that. I found a magazine article about it and practiced all the moves in it so you won't have anything to worry about. I'm pretty much at an expert to professional level right now. But don't worry, back rubs for my girlfriend are free. Yes that job title is available right now, in case you were wondering...
Hope to hear from you soon cupcake.
Really soon actually because this isn't my computer. Its not even my house right now. I'm staying at my cousin's because the landlord said we had to evacuate due to a "roach exterminator" needing to come bomb the trailer under a fog tent.
Yeah right. It's just his brother-in-law. They said we had an "infestation" because there were a few roaches in the cats' room.
Anyway, be cool chick. Be cool. Stay real. And don't be teal.
See ya on the flip. Babe.
P.S. Make sure you include your favorite type of snack or chip dip because I want to surprise you with it on our first date.
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