Tuesday, November 26, 2013

If you don't have an iPhone this probably won't be funny. Actually, no one will think it's funny. don't read this.

The top button stopped working. 
The spring inside busted so to make it work I had to mash down on it like trying to pop a really strong stink bug as a child. This is the only experience I can relate it to. If you've never done this I apologize. Try pushing a clicky ball point pen back into itself from the writing side with your finger. It's like that. 
And just Saturday night the main button started jamming electronically without assistance. 

That's fun. 
If you don't have an iphone, this won't make sense,
 but if you do...

It's pretty fun because it goes straight to voice control and then assumes from whatever noise it hears that I want to FaceTime people I haven't talked to in years. During these flurries of "voice control" people turn to see why I'm too stupid to remember to silence my phone in quiet public spaces like church.
 I mash down uselessly on the busted top button to try and shut it off. But the main button thinks I'm pushing them both so my frantic mashing only results in numerous screen shots of what time it is. 
When it finally registers that I would like to power off, not avoid the arduous work of dialing by fingertip, I let go of the top button to slide the onscreen slider to "off", but the main button is engaged again cuz it's on full auto. 

So the red slider disappears. We go back to "voice control".

I frantically mash the stupid broken top button some more while trying to block the speaker port with my remaining fingers cuz it's going to keep beeping to let me know it's listening.

I finally succeed in getting the red "slide this to kill your phone" bar. 
With surprising dexterity, my free pinky ducks in from behind my pointer and ring fingers to slide the red bar of death and the phone goes silent. 

All around me are sincerely perturbed at my egotistical noise making.  But I sink back in my seat as pure relief washes over me. I've slain the dragon. 

Turns out extended warranties aren't as useless as I supposed. 

1 comment: